Starting over

It’s been a long time since I’ve updated my blog now. Well, not more than two weeks, but I am guessing that qualifies as an eternity to some of the readers (no names mentioned)! Understandably, the past few days have been very difficult. Losing the baby at 10 weeks, when everything had been going so perfect - pregnant at the very first try, high beta numbers and a strong heartbeat. Accepting that this baby is no more, well, it took some time. But I am starting to see things in a different light now. I will of course love this baby forever and it will never ever be forgotten. But I am coming to accept the fact that this was not meant to be.. while knowing that it WILL happen when the time is right. These things happen, it’s the hard reality of life. Hopefully it will make me stronger and the end of the journey will be an even bigger blessing.

So, what’s happening now?

What is for sure, is that I am moving on to new territory..... a brand new blog! Ta-daa. My newly created blog at Wordpress can be accessed here. More choices, better layouts and better security... and - a fresh start for a new journey.

See you on the other side! :-)

Angel in Heaven

I wish I never had to post this. 2008 was supposed to be the most amazing year of my life.

We would have been 10 weeks and 2 days today, but at the ultrasound there was no heartbeat.
I don't think it has dawned on me yet, but it probably will full force very soon.

I don't really know what else to say right now... I will try to update later.

Week 10

"Your baby is no longer an embryo! Though he's barely the size of a kumquat -- just an inch or so long, crown to bottom -- and weighs less than a quarter of an ounce, he now has completed the most critical portion of his development. This is the beginning of the so-called fetal period, a time when the tissues and organs in his body rapidly grow and mature. His vital organs -- the liver, kidney, intestines, brain, and lungs -- are now in place and starting to function. His liver continues to make blood cells, and the yolk sac, which previously supplied these cells, is no longer needed and begins to disappear. During the next three weeks, your baby's length will more than double to nearly 3 inches. His head is proportionately smaller now than it was a few weeks ago, but it's still almost half the length of his entire body.

His forehead temporarily bulges with his developing brain and sits high on his head; it will later recede to give him a more human appearance. Each day, more minute details -- including tiny fingernails, toenails, and peach-fuzz hair -- start to appear on his body. His fingers are now completely separated; his arms bend at the elbow and curve slightly; his hands are flexed at the wrist and meet over his heart; his legs are lengthening; and his feet may be long enough to meet in front of his body. He is busily swallowing amniotic fluid and kicking his legs."

Happy New Year!

Just wanted to share a photo of the beautiful Christmas gift from Sabrina and her family. It's a quite unique photoalbum made of copper. Absolutely beautiful!! I can't wait to fill it up with wonderful memories.

Also wanted to wish everyone a HAPPY NEW YEAR, may 2008 be a fantastic year for all of you! :o)

Flights booked

...for the 20 week ultrasound!

March 12th: Oslo - Amsterdam - Seattle - Redmond/OR. Same way back on the 16th. (Thats a total of 4 airports and 6 flights in 4 days, ladies and gents..! Did I hear anyone say "jetlag"?!!)
My amazing surrogate has offered to accomodate me, which I have gladly accepted.

Now, I am used to BIG airplanes and I have traveled A LOT (my mom was a flight attendant/purser for 35 years) - but - the return flight from Oregon to Seattle has like a total of -9- seat rows.. :insert scary smiley here: Yes, I'm surprised you can even call it an airplane!! So, cross your fingers that I will make it back home alive.

But hey - in "only" 72 days I will know if its a boy or a girl !!!

Week 9

"Your amazing growing baby has been accepted into to the fetus-club, a very exclusive and exiting new stage in their prenatal development. Basically, this means the little sweet pea has graduated from swimming embryo creature to a recognizable human being! This week in particular, the irises of the little eyes can function, but the eyelids remain fused shut for a while yet. The external ears are formed and the inner ears are now filled with fluid—so your little one is already developing their sense of balance. Your baby's little swimmer legs are still relatively, although other bodily developments are going forward at a nice pace: the kidney is actually functioning now!"

Merry Christmas!